new job hilariousness

So I was recently hired to work 10 hrs a week at UW-Madison's audio library. The main library building is really big and beautiful, with tall ceilings and spacious study areas. That's not where I am. The Mills Music Library is its own separate library collection, located in the basement of the building.

The first time I walked down there to hand in my resume, the library reminded me of Fox Mulder's office from The X-Files. Obviously the library is much bigger than his office, but it definitely gave me the impression that the Music Library is the main library's embarrassing cousin that lives in the basement and is mostly ignored. Of course I fell in love with it right away.

Highlights of yesterday, my first day of work at the library:

Behind the audio checkout desk, available only to staff, is a closed "cage" where they store music related cds, dvds and videocassettes. This area is what they call "closed stack;" patrons can't browse, but they can search the catalog and tell us what they'd like, and we go back into the cage, look through the shelves and grab it for them. These shelves, however, are not your regular book shelves. They are on tracks, and they have big wheels on the sides so you can get between them. The first time I walked back and slipped between two of the shelves, I got this unshakeable feeling that I was about to be crushed accordion style, much like Han Solo in the trash compactor from Star Wars: A New Hope. This is going to take some getting used to.

So in the midst of walking me around the library, one of my coworkers introduced me to the audio library's public services librarian. We walk up to him, and she says, "Lindsay, this is ____" He's a white guy, somewhat preppy-looking, in his early-mid thirties. He turns to me, I smile, and just as I start to put my hand out, he bows. And not the Japanese, head-waist bow. Oh no; he thrusts back his right leg, puts out his arms and gives me a full-on Victorian-era bow. I freeze, looking around in panic. Am I supposed to laugh? Does he expect me to curtsy? (Without falling over? Because I actually doubt I could do that...) My other coworker who is introducing us makes no reaction, and the moment passes, but five minutes later I'm still looking around, waiting for either the hidden cameras to appear, or my coworkers to start laughing and enjoy the prank on the new girl. Nope. Pretty sure this guy is just that eccentric. That night I nearly died laughing describing this moment to my sister. It must be my inner weird that gets such a kick out of the strange ones...

At one point one of my coworkers tells me, "I'm going to show you how to scan the items that patrons browse, since we keep track of those statistics. Let's grab the phaser."
HUH?
My face reflects the above, and she laughs. "Oh; yeah, you'll understand when you see it. It looks exactly like the phasers from Star Trek: The Next Generation." And folks, it really does.

So I think this job's gonna be pretty interesting...

:D